Maybe it’s just my old age, I mean I am almost thirty. Or, maybe it’t just the fact that the whole parenting thing does not come natural to me. I have never been the mother that just fell right into the groove of showing a young mind how to progress in this world. However, lately, something just doesn’t feel as it should. A bit more off than usual you could say.
We, as parents, should not have to feel like the bad guy. Yes, there will be occasions where the child that you have given your life for will tell you how mean you are. They will say you are unfair and make you want an early night. They will make you yell unexpectedly, and want to pull your hair out at the sound of the same song over and over. That precious little life that you created, will having you running for the wine bottle after a holiday weekend.
But this shouldn’t be an every day thing.
We shouldn’t have to worry about our every move being compared to the parent who walks away. We shouldn’t have to be skeptical of how we manage our household, knowing that we are always going to be that bad guy. Yes, we as parents, should be able to make rules and boundaries without fear of our child never wanting anything to do with us after they hit the age of 18.
I should not have to feel the obligation to explain, in detail every five minutes, why I make the choices that I do. I should not feel that if I make a rule or discipline this tiny body, that it needs to be explained in such detail to my child just to try and “make amends”. I should not, under any circumstance, feel as though my way of handling things will make my child not want to come back from their weekends away.
When this adolescent being of mine is in a foul mood from coming back from said time away why should I, the parent, feel the need to walk on tiptoes, and try not to make things worse? I should not have to feel discouraged when I have spoken my mind, and told the truth as to how this world works and why we can’t have some things that other people do. I should not have to sensor myself, from explaining to my child that their other parent is not doing their part.
I’m all for the single parent life. I understand that a child can turn out perfect with just one parent, or even separated parents. However, I also believe that if both parents want to be involved, as active parts in these children’s lives, then both parents need to get along.
Parenting should not be an uphill battle.
We, as parents, should not have to worry about being the bad parent. We shouldn’t have to worry that our kid will come back and not speak to us for days, because they can’t watch a show at our house that they can at the other household. We should not feel slighted, by the fact that every bit of information we receive is processed through mind that can’t yet process simple subtraction.
Maybe it is just my old age, but the children we create, should not dictate our life to the degree that we let them, just to keep peace.
Maybe it’s my old age, but my child should not be burdened with being the middle man.
Maybe its just my old age, but I miss parenting being a positive experience.